With the divorce rate at 3.6 per 1,000 population, according to this CDC report, a lot of couples are asking when is the best time to seek marital help? When is it necessary or when is it too late?
The easy answer is that you don’t have to be on the edge of divorce to seek some counseling. When your level of unhappiness is pretty pervasive, and it has been going on for more days than not, and if you are just feeling angry or frustrated, you don’t have to wait for things to go south to talk to somebody.
- “But what if we are just arguing about small and insignificant matters?” Even small and insignificant fights, while not immediately damaging, can chip away at a relationship’s foundation over time. Getting an outside perspective from a professional may reveal a larger underlying issue that can easily be fixed before circumstances escalate.
- “But we are both on the same page when it comes to the big topics.” Many couples assume they are on the same page, but in reality they are not. A lot of individuals don’t voice their opinions or concerns in order to avoid rocking the boat. But if we avoid the big issues like in-laws, kids, scheduling, sex or finances, they can tend to eat at us. Differences can exist, but if they aren’t talked about, they can become a problem.
- “Is our relationship doomed if we fight a lot?” There are arguments that are so severe and damaging to a relationship that they can lead to a split up. But, fighting a lot does not necessarily lead to divorce. Seeking a third party mediator can help. Another perspective on your relationship and disagreements can teach you effective communication skills and how to fight fair, and point out personal short-comings that you can work on.
Beating the high divorce rate odds is a lot of work, and you most certainly don’t need to be on the path to divorce to seek help.