While in session with a client recently, they told me they had found a book which turned out to be one of the most helpful books they had ever read. Considering that I know this person has read a lot of books, I was intrigued. We discussed the book and the lessons in the book at length. I immediately purchased the book, You Are Not A Rock by Mark Freeman, following that appointment thinking, “wow, how many other people might also find this helpful.” Since then, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and considering the things Mr. Freeman has written. One such idea stands out to me, and I would like to share it with you today.
First, let’s consider our senses. Most people would say we have five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. We use these senses to collect information about our environment. We then interpret that information and choose how to act on it. If we are eating something especially sour – like a sour candy, we taste that and decide – “hey, that is sour.” Then we move on. Period. We don’t tell ourselves that we had a sour candy and now the entire day is wasted or that we had a sour candy and now all candy will be sour. We had a sour candy and moved on.
Lets say we are listening to some music, singing along, and we realize we’ve been singing the lyrics incorrectly for the past three years (I’m sure I’m not the only one to experience that, right?). So, we are listening. We heard something that turned out to be wrong. We move on. Do we think about all the times we sang it or dissect every single word of every song in the future? Or do we say, hey I made a mistake and move on?
Next, consider, like Mr. Freeman does, that we have seven senses. The five we already discussed plus thoughts and emotions. If we change the way we think about thoughts and emotions, then we can change the power we give them over us. Just because I have a thought, doesn’t mean I have to let it control me. It is just a thought. We can move on from it just like we can from a sour candy. Just because I have a thought that “Brooke doesn’t like me” doesn’t mean I have to let it control my day. It doesn’t mean that the thought is even true.
Lets take that a step further…. Whether a thought, or something we sense is true. That somewhat requires a judgement on our part – or – the prompt to change! Does cow manure smell bad? Some people think cow manure smells good – like home. So, whether it smells good or bad is a judgement. The only thing we could say for sure is that the smell is actually cow manure.
Is a Sour Patch Kid sour or sweet? Does Brooke like me or not?
If anyone wants to chat about Mr. Freeman’s book go ahead and email me. I love a good book discussion. If anyone wants to participate in therapy, trying to think about our senses a little bit differently, reach out. Use your hand to touch the phone, your ear to listen, and emotions to get excited about the future.
