Every parent wants their child to thrive in life. They want them to be independent, strong, and able to bounce back from whatever life may throw their way. But what does that really mean? If you’re raising your child to be resilient, what traits are you instilling in them? What are you actually teaching them? Resilience is one of those words that is often misconstrued, and when taught to a child in the wrong way, it can inadvertently hurt their mental health rather than help it.
At Rice Psychology Group, we understand that learning to cope and push through life’s toughest moments can be difficult. It can be even harder when you are a parent trying to teach your child what it means to stay strong while leading by example. Our team of licensed psychologists and therapists has put together a guide you can follow when teaching your child about resilience. (It may help you on your journey, too!)
What Is Resilience?
Before we delve into how you can raise a resilient child, let’s define what resilience means. According to the American Psychological Association, resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands. Let’s be honest: you probably read this and thought, “Easier said than done, right?” Life often throws unexpected challenges our way, and it can be tough as an adult to navigate these moments. So, how are you supposed to teach your child to adjust to challenges and carry on successfully? Keep reading—we’ve got some tips for you.
Raising a Resilient Child
While you may have the best intentions in teaching your child what it means to live resiliently, certain approaches can inadvertently cause more harm than good. Here are some key principles to remember when teaching your child about resilience:
- Don’t Avoid Feelings or Push Through Pain Without Help Teach your child that it’s okay to experience emotions fully and to seek support when needed. Encourage them to identify and name their feelings—angry, sad, or scared—as this builds emotional awareness. Reinforce that seeking help from trusted adults or peers is a positive step toward managing emotions. Resilience doesn’t mean suppressing feelings or pretending everything is fine.
- Resilience Can Be Learned While some of us come into the world naturally more resilient than others, it is also a skill that can be nurtured through small, intentional steps. For example, a parent might encourage their child to reflect on a challenging situation by asking questions like, “What did you learn from this?” or “How might you handle it differently next time?” The critical part to remember is that resilience can be developed and strengthened over time through practice and experience. Help foster a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset
- Guide: Don’t Force Independence. Creating a stable, loving relationship with your child is crucial. Show them that asking for help is not a weakness but a strength. Be their guide in a nonjudgmental way when they face difficulties.
- Resilience Has No Age Limit Whether your child is a toddler, a teen, or a young adult, it’s never too late to help them learn what resilience truly means.
Practical Tips for Building Resilience
- Stay in Communication Regularly talk with your child about their feelings and experiences. Share your life lessons and how you’ve overcome challenges. Let them ask questions and learn from your experiences.
- Teach Self-Compassion Help your child understand that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions during difficult times. Encourage them to cut themselves some slack and take time to process their feelings.
- Emphasize Self-Care: Teach your child the importance of physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Encourage healthy habits such as regular exercise, getting enough sleep, and practicing mindfulness or meditation.
- Encourage Problem-Solving Guide your child to think critically and explore solutions on their own. Instead of solving problems for them, ask questions like, “What do you think would work here?”
- Foster a Sense of Purpose Help your child set meaningful, achievable goals. Encourage them to explore their interests and passions and show how their efforts contribute to the bigger picture.
A Story of Resilience: Emma’s Science Fair Project
Emma, a fifth-grader, worked tirelessly on her science fair project. She carefully planned her experiment, collected data, and created a colorful display. On the day of the fair, an accident caused her poster board to fall and tear just before the judges arrived. Emma was devastated, but she quickly adapted with encouragement from her teacher and peers. She used tape to mend the board, refocused on her presentation, and delivered her findings enthusiastically. While she didn’t win first prize, her ability to recover and shine in the moment taught her an invaluable lesson: setbacks are temporary, and determination can turn challenges into successes.
Final Thoughts
Raising resilient children is an ongoing process that requires patience, consistency, and collaboration. By integrating these principles and practices into your parenting or teaching, you can help children develop the tools they need to face life’s challenges with courage and confidence. Remember, resilience is not about avoiding adversity but about learning to rise stronger each time.
Taking the Journey Together with Our Tampa Therapists
At Rice Psychology Group, our Tampa Therapists understand that life’s journey is full of unexpected twists and turns that can be hard to navigate. Our team is here to help you and your loved ones adjust to whatever comes your way and can help you create a plan tailored to your lifestyle. Contact us today to learn about scheduling your free, 10-minute consultation.