By Dr. Wendy Rice
Last week, I asked an adult client why she continues to work with me. At that moment, I was feeling particularly aware of my shortcomings and not at my most confident, so this felt like a risky question to ask. I cringed a little waiting for her answer. Her response surprised me in the best way. She said, “Because you’re real. Because you didn’t just go to school and pick a subject you were interested in—you’ve lived it, you’ve suffered, and because of that, I feel like I can tell you anything.”
That went a long way.
Many years ago, I struggled with whether or not to share publicly that I have ADHD. Some advisors warned me against it. They thought it would make me look weak as a business owner. Those same people encouraged me to buy a luxury car to project a more “elevated” image. But here’s the thing: I’ve decided that I want to lead from a place of authenticity, vulnerability, and the strength that comes from both.
And that decision has served me well.
If you know me it probably won’t come as a surprise that my story is a bit more complicated than simply being a person who made it to her mid-30s with undiagnosed ADHD. I have lived. I have suffered. I have succeeded—and I have failed. I don’t always talk about the failures (who does?), but I think that may start to change. Because the reality is, like most people with ADHD, the mental health story doesn’t stop there.
It’s hard to imagine a really smart person with ADHD who hasn’t also dealt with some level of anxiety. When you have big goals and dreams but struggle to carry out the right behaviors at the right time, with enough focus and persistence to actually get there—well, it can make life feel like a bit of a roller coaster.
That’s actually my simplified take on Dr. Russell Barkley’s definition of executive functioning: the ability to act on your intentions at the right time, with the right amount of effort and follow-through. When those systems are out of sync, it’s not about laziness or lack of motivation. It’s a real, invisible struggle—and it’s one I know from the inside out.
So if you’ve ever wondered whether your therapist really gets it, I want you to know: sometimes, we do. And sometimes, the very things we’ve been through become the foundation of the work we do with others.
And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
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